Now, in this Moment

Honestly, I have no idea why I have been compelled to write so much and post it here. Writing a ton is normal to me. I can easily lock myself in a room for the entire day and spend it in a completely reflective and communicative state. If that isn’t a passion or a calling, I really do not know what else is. Posting it though is definitely something new.

I don’t have anything specific to say right now. Any time I try to compile all my thoughts, attempting to center them around one thing, I feel as if I will burst. As if I am then ignoring all the other ideas flowing through my mind. Due to this, I am writing it all down here. Maybe after this, my brain will once again let me focus on one singular task.

I am writing a few poetry books currently, and I am planning to publish them soon. This is probably the coolest thing I have ever thought to do. Not because I think I’ll be famous. Not even because I think anyone will ever read anything I have written. Simply, because I think it is super cool. Every step taken is in some way a step forward, and this is definitely a step forward for me. In terms of vulnerability, openness to failure, experimentation, exploration, etc.

The other thing I am thinking about is that I’d love to actually make this blog aesthetically pleasing. However, it seems I simply do not have the brain power or time at the moment. There are so many different things I want to write about here, updating it as I travel and change, but this is not looking feasible at the moment.

At the end of the day, I am still travelling for a few more months, and although I have taken a lot of time to write in the past few weeks, I am ready for things to get busy again. I will be seeing my family soon in both Italy and Egypt and really just want to live completely in the moment. Setting aside my tendency to get caught up in my brain and going back instead into the primal state of just being a human experiencing life.

There are so many things I want to do but I do not have the time. Still, I feed into them every chance I get and set up plans for how I will achieve them over time. Whilst I am doing everything currently, I am also planning for my future to ensure I do not come home to nothing.

To put it plainly, I have a million things going on in my head all at once. I don’t mind this. It’s a very fulfilling sort of busy. Not the type of busy that makes you hate your life (been there done that). The current state of busy that I am living in is entirely driven by my passions and interests, so I have absolutely no complaints. My brain does feel like it is on overdrive though most of the time, but I am totally okay with that.

I used to feel unable to come up with anything that I wanted to do, and now I am here, brain full of ideas fuelled by excitement and passion. How funny life really is.